It’s been a while since I’ve participated in FMF. Here are the rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, no deleting, just writing, then posting. Link up, post your link, then visit others who linked up.
It’s a relief that it’s over. A lot of people probably think I’m odd for saying it, but those who know me best agree. It’s a huge relief to be finished.
But it’s even more a relief to be able to be honest. To no longer feel as if I must carry the burden of this horrible life secretly, without any support. I have support now. And the more I’m honest, the more support I get. Funny how this works. I thought for years that if people knew the truth they would turn away. That’s not what has happened at all. It’s such a great relief.
I also thought for years that if I left, that if I filed for divorce, if I was honest about the abuse and all the other things my husband had done, that God Himself would turn His back on me. But He hasn’t. Instead He has provided and provided and provided. He has been my comfort and my constant companion. He has been my children’s father and my husband. He has shown us absolutely nothing but love ever since I finally said, “No more.” It has been an enormous relief.
And it’s a relief to finally be able to live again, to breath again, to look for ways to serve God again, to give to others in need again, to care for others again, to pray and worship God again. Those things were taken from me, the devil took them from me, now God has given them back. It’s a relief that has brought me peace.
The second to last line I actually just read moments ago in this article. When I heard what this woman said, I understood her feeling exactly.