It’s still fresh, the break from my abuser, so my mind is still focused on that, probably more than my friends are comfortable with. I think a lot about the dreams I lost, the ones I shared with him, the ones he twisted then destroyed. Some days it’s like living all the abuse over again.
Lately, however, I’ve noticed that this is slowly becoming less and less. With much prayer (both by me and by those around me) and much Scripture reading and study, the darkness is lifting. And what I see as the light comes is that my dreams are not dead at all. They are merely reformulated. Though they will never be what I had envisioned at the beginning of my life and marriage, and that will always be a brand of pain on my heart, they are becoming something more, something greater. They are slowly becoming God’s in a way I could never have imagined.
Each day is another day I have to face the cold, hard facts of what my ex did, and continues to do. But each day I see, more and more, that the dreams I had for a godly family serving the Lord together could never be killed. Altered from my original idea, yes, but God will never allow evil to destroy a person’s dreams to simply serve Him. In God’s world, good always triumphs over the evils that men do, it often just takes longer than we expect.