I feel like starting this post, “You have heard it said…but I say unto you…” 😀
Most of my life I’ve heard these little sayings, “The best revenge is success,” or “The best revenge is living well.” They all seem to say something positive. Basically the best way to get back at people who hurt you or who doubted you is to have a good life. And, I think, that is how I’ve been living since February. I have lived thinking that each good thing I do to improve my situation, or each thing I do to fix something my ex refused, is basically thumbing my nose in Zelena’s face.
The thing is, the more I’ve gotten into this, the more I realize, Zelena really couldn’t give a…well, you know. Seriously, if he sees me succeed or do something he refused or get a job faster than he did, or whatever it is, his reaction will be the same.
And, honestly, anywhere except in fiction, when a person tries this way of living, the reaction is the same. Here in reality bad people couldn’t care less. Or, if they do care, it will only make them hate us more. So there is really no benefit to the victim to live this way.
There is another, far worse danger, however, in this form of thinking. The idea of basing our success on whether or not we get back at whoever hurt us, ties us to them. We are still measuring our worth by the very person who abused us. We have only physically moved away, emotionally we continue to tether ourselves to the worthless person, the person who really couldn’t care if we lived or died.
The best revenge, honestly, is to just walk away, emotionally as well as physically. If we don’t, the cycle will continue unabated and we will never learn how to live for anyone but the one who hates us, and there can be no success in that.