Monday, 9/14/15

blessings

Before I start in on a series of posts this week, I thought I’d share something in case I hadn’t before.

When a person leaves a narcissistic abuser, often the tables are turned on them and their lives can become even worse. It is one of the reasons many don’t leave. The fear of the fallout is greater than the pain of living with the abuse.

In my case, I also had the backdrop of being raised in a branch of Christianity that elevates marriage to a place above God. (I’ll blog about that later this week.) In this sect, we are taught that God will curse anyone who leaves their spouse for any reason.

Neither of these have proven true in my case. The latter, because that is a lie about God; the former because, well, I have no idea, but I know that I have been very blessed since the day I left Zelena. I had known, because a few of you already knew what was going on and were encouraging me to leave, that I would have a little support. I didn’t expect what I got, though, which has been almost 100% support from everyone I speak with. I am still completely overwhelmed by that.

I have a friend who points out to me that this is because God is building trust between us, and, if that’s the case, it is certainly working. See, I shouldn’t trust Him at all, at least not by earthly standards. In fact, I shouldn’t trust anyone at all. But, somehow, for some reason, I have been blessed in that, while there are issues of trust, I have only become jaded against the institution of marriage, not against people, and definitely not against God.

With extremely rare exceptions, each person I speak with is very supportive and understanding. I know that isn’t the case for many people.

Zelena, et al, truly meant everything they’ve done to be for evil, but God has turned all of that for good because He has been with me and carried me through this despite all their concerted efforts to drag me down. And in the end because of what they’ve done, as I’ve said before, God will end up with all the glory.

Suffering sucks, not gonna lie about that, but learning to trust God for everything that the kids and I need, that’s pretty awesome.

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