(Day 6 of 31 Days of Five MInute Free Writing)
“Ah LORD GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power nd by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You…”
It is common for Christians to throw around the verse “With God all things are possible.” In or out of context, there is a deep truth in these words, but it isn’t until God is all we have, that we truly grasp it.
My situation looks pretty dire. If you were to be a fly on the wall at one of my therapy sessions and took a look at my genogram you’d have to wonder, “How is she even still alive?” I wonder that myself. The level of trauma I have gone through in my life is over and above. If they were to make a movie out of my life, it would push the NC-17 scale. Yes, it’s that horrific. I have barely scratched the surface of the abuse.
My testimony, I tell people, is more likely to produce an atheist than any sort of interest in Christianity. What is so great about being abused from infancy by people claiming to be Christians? What is so great about ending up in an abusive marriage to a man claiming to be a Christian when I prayed to God for a husband who would love Him and we could serve Him together? What is so great about the fact that these people, if I allowed them, would continue to abuse me?
And yet I still share. In fact, I share because my testimony is so dark. I share especially because of the fact that the people involved claimed to be Christian. I share knowing that I am not the only one…though, if anyone else has actually experienced as much abuse as I have in my life, I haven’t met them in the church yet.
I want Christians to understand that being in the church does not make them immune. I want people who are in the patriarchy movement to reconsider not allowing their daughters to be educated. I want atheists to understand that, though most Christians in the West seem to have happy-clappy attitudes, that is not what faith is about at all; that faith has nothing to with circumstances.
With God all things are possible, in particular, faith, even in darkness.