Day 17: Offer

The offer of temptation never comes in the form of something repulsive. I don’t know how your temptation works, but Larry Boy and the Bad Apple pretty much covers it for me…justifying taking something good to an extreme.

As I wrote earlier, I gave up fiction writing for October. It wasn’t a plan I had, more of something I had to do. I’ve used writing stories as a coping mechanism since I was ten. I’ve known it for a while, but, well, I have a lot to cope with.

This month has been difficult. Writing about the abuse more often, and reading others entries on their abuse and recovery, has been a bit more than I thought I was ready for. Facing court next month, something I shouldn’t have had to do but for a deceit against me.

But I also joined a Rooted group at church and we’ve been studying how to deepen our relationship with God. Last week’s chapter was on Spiritual Warfare, which I’d already been studying. It ends with a section on strongholds, which helped me identify my writing as something that had control over me, not me over it.

Of all the things I’ve ever tried to give up, this will probably be the most difficult. It’s not easy to give up the thing that kept you alive for nearly 40 years. And there will, no doubt, be a lot of offers in my head as to why it is impossible, and why I can justify it.

This is part of 31 Day of Free Writing.

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