The Useless Nature of Complaint

Or, that awkward moment when the person after me on the Five Minute Friday list posted on the evils of divorce and the horrors of single parenting, while I posted the exact opposite.


If there’s one thing I think Christians totally don’t get, it’s divorce. I read another post yesterday on Patheos from a man who was incensed at a divorce celebration he witnessed. And, I know, there was a time I would have shared his outrage.

I was raised in the church, listening to sermon after sermon on the terrible thing that was divorce, how divorce was the bane of our society and, after feminism (which was most likely the cause of 110% of divorces), was the thing that was destroying our nation.

Now, obviously, I have a completely different opinion.

Of course, I do know that some marriages end because of selfishness on the part of both parties, but it’s been my experience as I’ve spoken with the divorced, that it is actually rare. With the exception of one woman who adopted, the people in the single and parenting class at church were all abused and cheated on. When I speak with divorced people outside the class I find the same recurrence, both inside and outside the church. Christian, Athiest, Jew, Buddhist, the story recurs in an endless cycle of lies, abuse, and betrayal.

I guess I’m just tired of people like the old me bemoaning the fate of all humanity and dumping the fault of all the ills in our culture on divorced parents.

Maybe, if the people who see this as a problem would actually do something to help single parents, I don’t know, like make sure they have a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, access to education and employment, etc, etc, there’d be less problems as a result of divorce. But, it’s so much easier to gripe and whine than it is to actually do something. It’s so much easier to judge than to lend a helping hand.

So, while those of us in the trenches of divorce fight for our kids to have a decent life, the world will go on spinning and the haters will go on complaining, and nothing will ever change. Good job.

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