Five Minute Friday: Quiet

It’s FMF time. This week’s word is “quiet.”

I can’t be. I’m sorry. It’s just no longer in my nature to see the horrible things in this world and be quiet about it. If I see something, I say something.

I suppose you suspect it’s because it happened to me. I should correct this misconception.

I speak out, because there was a time I didn’t. There was a time I was complicit by my silence. There was a time I counseled others that divorce was the worst thing a person could do, worse than abuse, worse than adultery. I counseled “forgiveness.”

I went from speaking out against my pastors in my youth, to submitting without question. Because that’s what I was supposed to do as a Christian. If I wanted my life to go well, if I wanted God to bless me, I’d better tow the party line. Whether that was the Evangelical party line which said that if you just prayed harder everything would be fine, or that most problems in a marriage stemmed from the woman not being submissive enough to her husband. Or the Reformed party line which said that God made people to suffer so they just had to put up with their misery here on earth and look forward to heaven. Both lines said you couldn’t get divorced…in truth, they didn’t even condone divorce in cases of adultery.

I fell for the lie. I forced my mouth shut. I stopped speaking out against true evil and went along with the pastors and my friends.

So, no. I won’t be quiet again. But not because it happened to me, because I did nothing when it happened to others.

greatis

9 Comments Add yours

  1. I love how passionately you wrote about speaking out! I used to be extremely quiet and non-confrontational, too … until things DID happen to me that forced me to find my voice. Now, it is extremely hard for me to hold it in when I see injustices around me. I try hard to pick my battles, but I will stand up for the underdog, the insecure, the ones with low self confidence and low self esteem. I’ll even stand up TO the ones trying to bully and push others around, why? Because I’ve been on the receiving end of that for way … too … long! I will not sit back and allow it to happen any more- not to me, not to my family, nor my friends! Even a stranger on the street deserves to be treated with respect! Bravo for speaking out and remaining quiet no more!

    Blessings from Light Love Hope, your neighbor on FMF.

    Shirley

  2. I love how passionately you wrote about speaking out! I used to be extremely quiet and non-confrontational, too … until things DID happen to me that forced me to find my voice. Now, it is extremely hard for me to hold it in when I see injustices around me. I try hard to pick my battles, but I will stand up for the underdog, the insecure, the ones with low self confidence and low self esteem. I’ll even stand up TO the ones trying to bully and push others around, why? Because I’ve been on the receiving end of that for way … too … long! I will not sit back and allow it to happen any more- not to me, not to my family, nor my friends! Even a stranger on the street deserves to be treated with respect! Bravo for speaking out and remaining quiet no more!

    Blessings from Light Love Hope, your neighbor on FMF.

    Shirley

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Thanks. Glad you speak out. 🙂

  3. sara, i’m sad to hear the part of your story revealed here. while it is true that there are evangelical and reformed churches that do not handle or teach truth re submission and marriage correctly, there are also evangelical and reformed churches that do it well. don’t wipe all of a group off the map b/c of your horrid experience. or b/c the many vocal people are doing a bad job of speaking the truth or exposing the truth of what the Bible teaches.

    there are many places that are opening light on this horrible malformation of the truth that has turned it into a horrible error. http://www.netgrace.org http://peacemaker.net (reconciliation if possible but not at the cost of abuse!)

    are two wonderful organizations that teach and train well and biblically.

    G.R.A.C.E. has gone into some well known christian organizations and exposed abuse that had been tolerated for a long time. they also teach churches how to avoid having this happen as well as not allowing a culture of abuse that is often allowed to develop in many christian organizations and churches.

    you are correct in saying that this is no time to be quiet. abusers thrive in silence. but we also want to appreciate and make use of those who are working to fight against an ugly evil in our churches…and have been for many years. GRACE is more specific to abuse. peacemakers is not only for that but for all kinds of reconciliation…true reconciliation where both sides are honest but able to reconcile. and what reconciliation and forgiveness actually looks like for wise people…ie. not going back into abusive situations for example.

    sara, you have my prayers as you recover from the pain of the evil that has been preyed on you. just remember who your true enemy is and who your true friends are as well. blessings girl. martha

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Thanks. I do appreciate the work groups like GRACE are doing. Unfortunately they are a parachurch organization. I just haven’t found a lot of churches doing much for their own congregations. I haven’t written off the church. I still attend. I just trust God more than I do people. What I face when I speak to fellow Christians about these false teachings from pastors and religious leaders is apathy, at best, excuses and defense of them, at worst. It’s discouraging to know that as I sit and worship in church, more than a quarter of the people around me are in some sort of abusive relationship and yet that doesn’t ever warrant mention by the pastors. Here’s a portion of my testimony: https://sarasamomx5.com/2015/12/19/why-am-i-not-an-atheist/ It explains part of my abuse story, which starts in the church, at birth. 46 years is a long time to be abused in several different denominations ubeer a variety of pastors. And I know there are many more like me and most have walked away from the faith because when they seek help they are swept under the rug.

  4. carlybenson says:

    I love that you speak out against things that are wrong in the world. I’m sorry you were silenced for so many years but I’m glad you have been able to find your voice. You have an important message to share.

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Thanks. I just hope I can be helpful to someone.

  5. Stopping by from FMF linkup, and so glad I did. I don’t believe I’ve read you before. You sound like a very courageous woman. God bless you for being so faithful to speaking out for others.

    Lynette
    ~#117 at linkup this wk

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Thanks for stopping by and giving us a read. 🙂

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