Five Minute Friday: Focus

Start

This is probably the most loaded prompt I’ve had in a while. Loaded because this is the theme for one of the BuJo communities I’m in for January. So “focus” has been my buzz-word since the middle of January. I debated what to write, there is so much I want to say. There are nice things, about getting my focus right, about focusing on the things we need to work on in order to succeed in the way we would like. I’m focused on learning more at the farm, and on getting things together here at the house. Ultimately, I’m focused on moving on, on walking out of the darkness of nearly five decades of abuse and into, well, whatever normal is. And, of course, now I can. I can focus on that, I can focus on these other things because my focus no longer needs to be on trying to please my abuser, or any abuser for that matter. Breaking away from that enabled me to focus on Christ, make Him the true Lord of my life, instead of the abuser demanding that position. I can focus on my kids and their needs, instead of only on what my abuser demands of me, which is always everthing. I can focus on the dreams I had, the ones he took and destroyed. I can make them a reality now. I can focus on all these things now, my mind more clear than it has ever been in my life, because the abuse is gone. Sure, the abuser would love to continue it, but he can’t, I won’t let him, or anyone else ever again, for that matter. Like their father the devil, the abusers steal and destroy. They steal our focus away from God, they destroy our souls. When we get away from them, we can focus on the things God wants us to focus on in a way no one under abuse is ever able to. The abuser simply won’t allow it.

End.

focus

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Gabriele says:

    I am so glad your focus has shifted and you are free to see other things besides your need to please a person who does not deserve your focus. Your words speak of taking your power back and leaning on the one who has real power to save.

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Thanks. Glad you stopped by. 🙂

  2. carlybenson says:

    Your post makes me think of these verses from Philippians 3:13-14: “I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”
    Not that you can forget the past necessarily, but that you can look to the future and be free to move on to focus on God and your kids and your dreams. I love the quote on the image you chose to go with your post.

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      The quote’s from a song by For King and Country (in case you want to give it a listen). Pressing on is important so I love that verse. The forgetting the past to me is the release of the guilt I have for being so stupid to fall for teaching that kept me and my kids enslaved for all those years. The focus on the heavenly prize makes the daily struggle slightly easier. Thanks for the verse. 🙂

  3. Plaidfuzz says:

    Hmm, your story really resonates with a lot of what I experienced in my childhood. I’m glad k found your blog in the bullet journal group, I will be reading more!

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll find my posts helpful. That’s why I write about it, in hopes that others will find affirmation, hope, comfort.

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