Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife: A Review

Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife: My Story of Finding Hope after Domestic AbuseBlack and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife: My Story of Finding Hope after Domestic Abuse by Ruth A. Tucker

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Ruth Tucker boldly raises questions that the patristic, so-called complimentarian, leaders ignore. While not making a direct correlation (this book is not scientific it is biographical) between complimentarian teaching and abuse, her experience, and that of thousands of other women (probably more throughout the centuries) demands that male-headship believers do something about the on-going problem of abuse in their midst.

It is not enough to claim that your teaching isn’t abusive and remain silent as women suffer and die, and children walk away from the faith, if their fathers don’t kill them first. Like Ruth Tucker, I have not seen any evidence that these men are even remotely interested in solving this problem. Why? In my opinion, it is because the men have the power and to admit that at least a quarter of them are misusing it is to upset their structure and threaten them.

Considering her quote by Paige Patterson, that he actually had the audacity to tell a black and blue woman that he was happy her husband had beat her (beacause, supposedly beating her brought him to salvation) and what I know of the rest of the men who teach this, added to a near half-century inside this teaching, I doubt that any serious consideration will be given to her book or her concerns.

1) Because she is a woman. Male-headship leaders will dismiss her because of her gender, they will wave their hand and say they don’t need a woman to tell them what to do, and that to do so would be an actual sin.

2) Aside from upsetting the cart and spoiling their rule, they honestly believe that men are morally superior and, therefore, will come around, if only their wives submit wholeheartedly. Talking with a complimentarian is like listening to someone sing along with the self-righteous Henry Higgins, “Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?”

3) Male headship leaders don’t really care about anything except appearances. As long as everything looks good on the outside, who cares what goes on behind closed doors. The number of women I know personally who were told by their pastors, when they brought the abuse to their attention, to go home and submit to and care for and love their husbands, gives proof to that. These men do not love as Christ loved, and I’m not just referring to the abusers, I’m referring to the pastors and elders.

4) They worship the creation instead of the creator. And that is really the crux of it. Male headship believers worship marriage, not God. They believe in marriage, not God. Their God is, truly, male headship, male rule. It is why the man trumps all, even love. Though God teaches differently in Scripture. These people don’t care about Scripture, they don’t care about God, they worship man, and man only.

There is a lot of pride bound up in patristic teaching that is becoming apparent as their leaders begin to fall so greatly that they even end up on the mainstream news. The Duggars are only the tip of the iceberg. The problems and the evils of this teaching run deep. I am not hopeful they will ever be dealt with. Men have been beating women with the church’s approval for millennia. I don’t imagine it’s going to stop anytime soon. I can only pray that women will be brave enough to walk away from these churches before they, and their children, are permanently and irrevocably damaged.

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