A little over four years ago, I was living in constant fear. I wouldn’t fully understand all of it until I fully understood and accepted the level of abuse I’d been subjected to over the course of my life.
One night, I attended a women’s meeting, and there I learned that what I’d been taught, that fear was proof of my salvation, was not Biblical at all. I learned that true salvation is freedom from fear. It was then that I was saved, and experienced freedom for the first time.
The following years were fraught with other things. At first there was hope, false hope that it was, that my marriage could be saved. I figured if I could be saved at such a late date in my life, my husband could be as well, then we could serve God together. But that was never to be. Zelena has never had any interest in true repentance, just in living the status quo and not being found out.
After I left, I finally turned my focus to where it should be, on my own spiritual growth, and on my children. Over this time, I have become increasingly convicted that I ought to be baptized. I had been baptized when I was eight, but that was only a thing of fear. I feared not going to heaven, I feared getting in trouble for not obeying God’s command.
I am, in case you don’t know, and many people don’t, impulsive by nature. Waiting is not my forte. I can do it, but it’s not my favorite thing to do. Mr. Great-heart inherited that from me, hence his sudden decision to attend Mt. Baldy School. There have been many opportunities over the past year to “impulsively” be baptized (yeah, I’m not going to get into the theology right now, but being impulsively baptized used to be the standard in Scripture).
I had this idea, though, that I’d like at least one of my kids to be baptized along with me. This seemed like it was going to happen, but then the pastor MG wanted to baptize him wasn’t going to be there on the day they had baptisms, so we waited. In the meantime, Braniac decided he wanted to be baptized, but by R. In the meantime, again, Easter was approaching, and an opportunity for “impulsive” baptisms. So, MG decided he’d get baptized on Easter. Then I felt as if I should go ahead and do it too. Then I talked with Spock about what baptism was and the why’s, etc. And he decided this morning that he’d be baptized as well. We told B if we ran into R before the service, we’d see if he could be baptized.
Long story short (haha) the five of us (including Babycakes) were baptized this morning..
As with most deeply emotional moments, it’s easier for me to write out the boring details. I’m not sure how to explain how I felt. It was sort of what I thought it would be, which is why, I believe, I was putting it off. I don’t really like to get emotional in public. I was probably as emotional in public as I can get today.
PS That was some dang cold water. 😀