I have chicks residing in my bathroom, a pile of paperwork to fill out for summer school and my new job, and my PTSD is acting up in a way it hasn’t in a long while.
What on earth does that have to do with Twitter?
Well, Twitter has become a giant time-suck, and since I have no brand I’m particularly promoting, I can’t figure out why I’m using it.
I know why I started. Years ago I joined HelloMornings to help me, well, get up in the morning and get things done. I was still in a very elongated “bargaining” stage of grief in my marriage, hoping that if I was just a better wife, like all the Christian marriage books say, Zelena would actually love me and my kids.
We all know how that worked out.
I like people, and I like conversation, and I really don’t mind people who have differing opinions, but none of that is what Twitter is about. I think most people, not all, use it to market their brand (I actually only have an inkling of what that even means.) and I have no brand to market. I didn’t start writing my blog to become rich and famous, or even famous. I started writing here about the abuse because it needs to be said. Because the church is silent. Because Christians make daily decisions to CHOOSE to be ignorant of the suffering around them.
Twitter is, by far, the least effective method of communicating that, at least for me.
I’m going to leave my Twitter account active. I like my handle and don’t want to give it up, but I won’t be there anymore. I don’t really get feedback from Twitter the way I do Facebook. And, well, to be honest, I was ignored for over 20 years by Zelena, I don’t need to put myself into situations where I’m ignored again.
Which brings me to my second reason for leaving Twitter. I have, for a reason I don’t think most people can understand, some sort of default in my psyche that causes me to force myself into situations where I’m not particularly liked or even welcomed. I have found myself doing that on Twitter and it will only make my recovery slower.
Thirdly, people on Twitter can be a bit oversensitive, and a bit pitch-forkish. I don’t have time for the first, and I terrify myself when I go along with the latter.
Twitter has, with the few exceptions of my friends I met through HelloMornings, and two or three other real people, not been useful for my recovery. And right now, if something isn’t useful for my recovery, there’s really no reason for me to be a part of it.