Desperately Seeking

The most peculiar thing that has happened to me since I was approaching the decision to leave Zelena was the people who were very concerned about me being single. This was usually voiced in statements from nice “there’s someone better for you out there,” to cruel “no guy’s gonna want a woman wth five kids” to the even mre cruel “you’re going to want to lose some weight before you can start dating.” (I had absolutely no idea their was a law about weight and dating.) Yet they all had one thing in common, they were only said by my Christian friends. My atheist, agnostic, Buddhist, etc., friends said no such thing. That pattern continues to this day and is more for my list titled “The church idolizes marriage.”

It caught me by surprise. Why would it matter that I was single? Why did I *need* another man. 25% of men are abusive. One in four. Add in the high rate of porn addiction amongst men who attend church and troll singles’ Sunday school classes, my odds of finding a guy who isn’t as much an ass as Zelena, or worse, are pretty slim.

So, I did what I always do when people irritate me and I recall that actually strangling a person is illegal 😉 I decided to make a joke about it.

Most people know I love Captain America. Steve Rogers (before Marvel…oh, heaven, don’t even get me started) is a great guy. Most people also know Chris Evans plays Captain America (he also plays many other roles including Jensen in The Losers, the character his mother says he’s most like in real life). He also has been seen in public wearing shirts for porn movies like Debbie Does Dallas. In short, he’s a Hollywood guy through and through.

So, I thought it would be both funny and make a point if I joked that I would date Chris Evans. And that, folks, is when things got really weird. Whenever the subject of dating comes up with Christians, I roll out my joke about dating Chris Evans and, I kid you not, half the people think I’m serious. It’s like I’ve spent the last 25 years just trying to survive, only to come back to the land of the living and find that most people are still living in junior high. Only, even in junior high I knew I would never date or marry the famous people I pasted pictures of on my wall…which is probably a good thing I realized that since I had a wild crush on Boy George at the time…and that really explains so much, eh?

The replies I’ve received have been “isn’t he a little young for you?” (As a quick aside, I have no problem dating younger men…you know, just in case you’re busy lookig for me.) “I think you should be realistic.” And “no way that’s happening.”

This really would be the funniest thing if these folks weren’t so freaking serious.

I dream of a better world. One where men and women in the church embrace the truth of Scripture and treat each other as brothers and sisters, not as flesh at the meat market. Oh, and married people shut up and stop trying to hook up their single friends. Seriously, you guys who do that, and you know who you are, are so annoying.

In the meantime, I will roll out “Chris Evans” anytime dating is mentioned, by me or anyone. The reactions are just too hilarious. And goodness knows I need a good laugh.


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