FMF: Help

Help me if you can I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being around
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, Help me?

(as an aside, I hate The Beatles’ music, there was a revival during my high school years and that’s all they played in our one radio station town…ugh, don’t bring back the mid-80s)

How do you help someone who is down?

I used to think platitudes and advice were helpful. I thought this way because that’s what I was always given whenever I had trouble. It wasn’t until the last few months when I began to realize that those aren’t helpful. In fact, they are hurtful.

And I realized this because of the people who weren’t doing it.

I noticed that when I sat with a person who just listened, my spirit was lifted and I went away feeling, I don’t know, better? But when I would be with a person who just wanted to give advice or remind me that I’m not trusting God enough in my problems, I felt worse. Often, these words were justified by saying “the Spirit is telling me.”

Yep, so if I don’t listen to that person, I’m disobeying God, I’m just an awful person, inadequate and if I’d just listen to them, er, The Spirit, all my troubles would be solved, I could put the happy face on, and they would be so much more comfortable. I mean, God would be pleased.

Funny thing is, Hollywood gets this while far too many of us in the church don’t.

Yeah, funny…

(Hint: Joy is not helping)

(Linking up with Five Minute Friday)

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh! I loved that movie. Tears galore.
    Often, listening is the best thing any of us could do. You’re so right about that! Glad you visited my blog today from #FMF. Have a beautiful weekend!

  2. Carly says:

    So, great minds think alike! The Beatles song was the first thing that came to my mind too (though I focused on a different part). And I love the clip from Inside Out- that was my favourite part of the film and such a good example of how we can actually help someone when they are suffering.

  3. Your words are so true. I think so many times people don’t know what to say, so they try to fill the silence. Sometimes, the most comforting thing is just someone’s presence. I’m visiting from FMF. 🙂

  4. Bravo! You said this SO well.

    In my situation (terminal illness, occasional uncontrolled bleeding that has to be fought using a field-expedient IV blood expander…and no insurance) I have been offered religious platitudes that are well-meant but make me cringe.

    And fro those who know me personally, the suggestion to “just let go” and “fall into God’s arms”.

    Well, no. For one thing, you CAN’T just let go, and for another, this is my assigned post and I will do the job I’ve been given for as long as I can. “Falling into God’s arms” is not an option. When He comes for me, He’d best bring along a lot of muscle.

    And a lot of bandages, ’cause I ain’t a’goin quietly.

    #1 at FMF this week.

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      When He comes for me, He’d best bring along a lot of muscle.
      And a lot of bandages, ’cause I ain’t a’goin quietly.”

      Love this. I don’t think God meant us to go “gently into that goodnight.” 🙂

  5. Kath says:

    I love your post. I think people offer platitudes because they feel helpless and it makes them feel better. But so many just need to listen and so many just need to be listened to. Thanks for the reminder.
    visiting from #32 at FMF.

  6. MaryHill says:

    Like you, I am no crazy about the Beatles, but these lyrics are so true. Sometimes we only need to listen with concern and love. Listening can speak volumes.

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