Shame Culture/Rape Culture Two Sides of the Same Coin

I don’t watch awards shows for the reason I presume people like Dame Judi Dench don’t bother to attend many, I’m really just too busy.

I’m also no fan of the self-aggrandizement involved in fame. I don’t mind movies and music and TV, but there is an air of superiority among those made famous (including those famous within the church) that unnerves me.

I assume it’s because years of watching “famous” people truly get away with murder, rape, child molestation, DUI, racist and misogynistic comments, etc, ad nauseum, has proven that fame and fortune have no upside if one has to affirm people who do such great evil to be accepted.

This affirmation is seen when Hollywood awards child rapists as equally when church people say not everything James Dobson and Gary Chapman say are bad so it’s acceptable to use their teachings in the the church and even to recommend them and give money to them.

It’s the same.

James Dobson gives advice to abused women that gets them killed. Gary Chapman values marriage above justice, even in the case of child rape.

And then there’s Franklin Graham.

I really should quip “Don’t get me started,” but it would be too late.

Graham, an ardent supporter of the far right, advocates embracing abusive husbands and kicking your LGBTQ+ child out into the street.

In these seemingly opposing ideals, Graham gives us the exact picture of the Shame Culture which is the church and by extension our society. The victim is elevated, the person who did nothing is chastised and often cast out.

When an abuse victim or rape victim or any other victim walks into most churches, they will be commanded to do all sorts of things that will teach other victims to maintain their silence.

“Don’t be angry about the evil committed against you, because you’ll be bitter and sin against God.”

“Don’t tell people what happened to you, that’s gossip and it’s a sin against God.”

“Embrace and pray for the person who did the evil, do good to them, allow them into your life, or you are sinning against God.”

“God loves sinners so our church extends the right hand of fellowship to your abuser as well as to you and you simply must accept that the person who committed the crime against you can be a member of our church the same as you, or you are harboring bitterness and a hard heart and God is displeased with you.”

This is how the church shames victims.

Hollywood shames victims by giving perpetrators jobs, and then rubbing it in victims’ faces by giving out awards.

That’s the scene as played out at The Golden Globes and The Academy Awards where not only was a sexual predator (look, if a guy breaks into a woman’s place and lays in her bed with her uninvited and touches her while she’s sleeping, it’s not harassment, it’s predatory) given an award, it was intentionally presented to him by a woman who speaks up for victims.

At first blush, it seems like a cruel joke played on Brie Larson and the victims she advocates for. And, it is. And yet, maybe it’s not.

Before Brie Larson agreed to present Best Actor both times she knew who the nominees were. Unless she keeps herself under a rock like I do and has no clue who most of these people are. But I kinda doubt that.

Brie Larson knew Casey Affleck was nominated, yet she took the job of possibly handing him the award…in front of a live audience…on live TV.

I don’t know, but if it was me, what better way to make a statement than to give the award to the creep while visibly expressing her disgust?

I think I’m in love.

There is no counterpart in Christianity. Women who stand up for victims are never given the stage. We will never hear their words, never see the disgust on their faces as yet another woman dies at the hands of a man she was forced to stay married to. We will never hear their voices in our churches, even many liberal churches have no place for the truth. Liberal conferences are more of the same white, male leadership, no voice for women, no voice for minorities.

TBN and Focus on the Family are not going to have victims of abuse and rape on when the perpetrators were men in the church (unless the victim is talking about how to reconcile with the evil person). They won’t even speak out and advocate for victims, they sure as hell don’t want to hear from us.

The few women who do say things are relegated to a small corner of the Internet. They will never be as famous as Brie Larson. Most Christians will ignore their voices. Because most Christians just don’t care.

75% of the white Christian population just voted a sexual assailant into the White House, what use do such people have for the voice of victims or their advocates?

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