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tolerate

As of 11:00pm PDT, Sunday, June 25, 2017, I am unemployed.

That would be depressing if not for the way it came about, and particularly how I completed it.

It started back at the end of April with a trip to the San Diego Zoo. I won’t go into the details because, honestly, they no longer matter to me…but maybe I’ll include them in my biography one day. 😉 In short, when I returned home I began to look into going back to college.

My plan was to take two classes and work full time. Yeah, it might take a little while, but it was a start.

After work conflicts and a bout with the flu, I was finally able to take the placement tests the Tuesday after Memorial Day. And then everything completely changed.

I had studied a little before the test. But I ended up depressed when I felt I was just doing terrible in the Algebra and I texted Frankie the night before the test that I would just have to be happy with pre-Algebra…and I assumed I’d be placed in pre-pre-Algebra. I mean, seriously, who was I kidding? I’m nearly 50 years old. I haven’t been inside a classroom for anything more serious than my son’s annual IEP for a quarter of a century.

I showed up for the test. I was the oldest person in the room let alone taking the test. It was all a bit overwhelming.

I finished the English test easily. But when the math test came up I thought, “I didn’t study this. this isn’t what they had on the study sheet they gave me.” Oh, and there were a ton of fractions. I hate fractions.

When I discovered my results at the end, however, my entire life flipped upside down. I had been placed in college-level everything.

The thought didn’t pass through my mind instantly, but I knew before I drove out of the parking lot that Stater Bros and I were parting ways, and soon.

It’s a depressing place to work. The management calls you into the office, lectures you on things you need to change, then ignores you until you f*ck up again. It honestly wasn’t even a paycheck anymore, it was a lesson in how much I would put up with. But, I’m a positive person so I tried to make the best of it even though daily it was dragging me down.

Realizing that I don’t have to take any remedial classes and that if I go full-time I can graduate in four years, well, that was it. I decided I’d work through the end of July, handing in my resignation after I returned from vacation in the middle of the month.

By the time I got home from work on Friday after the test I knew I’d be handing in my two weeks the following morning, first thing before the farmstand.

It truly was, in that moment, a lesson in how much I would tolerate. I’m not saying I was a perfect employee, but I did what I was asked and none of that ever mattered. I had taken to joking that if I wanted this sort of relationship with someone I would just go back to my ex.

But Friday night I discovered that I will no longer tolerate any of that, from anyone.

I am one of the fortunate few who can do this. Due to circumstances that certain people have forced me into I can afford to quit a place like that and take my time finding a better job after the kids and I get adjusted to our new school schedules. Most people don’t have that luxury.

This is not a new leaf, this is a complete 180. But then that seems to be my life these days.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Lesley says:

    Well done on the college test! That’s an exciting new start and I’m glad you are able to leave behind the difficult work situation too.

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Thanks. It is weird not working though. I miss the people and the customers. I might start talking to the walls soon ;D

  2. jmcollis says:

    Claiming back your individuality and identity from a workplace that doesn’t want to acknowledge you as a person is never a bad thing. Having a family and showing them that people matter can only be good too. Being who you are and being true to yourself is key. It all sounds positive. Best wishes on the study. I think that wanting to learn more is a great way to be. That’s why I live reading too.

    1. sarasamomx5 says:

      Welcome. And thanks, I thought so though I do have to take a deep breath every once in a while now that I’m a week into it. 😀

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