Forward

I was looking through some old notes for a story I wrote a while back when I came across a quote I had written down a week before I started school back in the summer of 2017. It's a quote from some guy names Brendon Bruchard. I have no idea who this is, except he … Continue reading Forward

Hindsight

Hindsight's a bitch. It's all so obvious, but you know there is no way you could have truly known then. Looking back, this end was obvious. I can see that I was already starting to have problems by the middle of summer school. But I had no way to process any of this, because the … Continue reading Hindsight

Out There

There is a reason depressed people never want to leave the house. Interacting with the real world is hard work. The little I've done today has left me drained. It's been a rough day. I was at about 50% when I got an email about my admissions issue and then I was pretty much at … Continue reading Out There

Life Moves On

It does. There really is nothing to do but move along with it. I had a conference for work this weekend. I signed up for it back when I felt better, invincible even. I nearly called off but didn't want to use the PTSD as an excuse. So, off I went to Riverside City College. … Continue reading Life Moves On

Take Away

It’s so different now. I watch people who are like I was before the PTSD took over my mind and I cringe. I don’t begrudge them, I just hate myself for ever being like that, for ever trusting that deeply, for ever allowing myself that much freedom. It was weird to be in a place … Continue reading Take Away

Self

Just got home from meeting with my Calc professor. I feel no better or worse now. I really do feel as numb as I ever have. If I can get admissions to sign off the papers tomorrow, well, I don’t want to talk about it. Everyone keeps saying that I need to do what’s best … Continue reading Self

Inspiration

Yet again, I read one of those pep talk memes that came across my Twitter feed that just made me even more depressed. It spoke of sharing your story so that you can serve as an inspiration. Yeah, uh, nope. Years ago, Michael Jordan drew the ire of pretty much everyone on the planet for … Continue reading Inspiration