PTSD and “Friends”

The problem with most people is that, regardless their age, in general they lack the maturity to deal with you outside *their* prescribed mood for you. If you deviate from what they want from you, they can’t deal with it.

When you are suffering from a mental health issue, it is difficult but important to remember that this reaction is on them, not you. If they can’t deal with your sadness or your troubles, that is because they are too immature to deal with any suffering. They would be the same to anyone in a similar circumstance.

I know it is disappointing. It has happened to me. In some cases I may have done it.

There are a number of reasons for this immaturity. Sometimes it is simply an age thing. When people are young, if they lack a natural compassion, they won’t have any. As people get older, they often react in the way they have been taught by their parents.

Personal suffering can have a major impact on how a person reacts to others. Many people I have known have suffered greatly in their lives, yet they lack compassion as a result. My personal opinion, from watching people, is that suffering is more indicative of how cruel you will become to your fellow humans. I would wager money, if I had any, that the majority of Trump supporters were abused as children and that many of the adults within his supporters fall into the category of abuser or victim. Suffering does not always result in an ability to empathize. It usually goes the other way.

But none of that is your fault (unless you were abusive to them, then it is definitely your fault). I’ll assume, however, that this is not your situation.

It is a lonely path we walk. Our society frowns on people with mental health problems. They call us lazy and selfish because we cannot conform to their view of what is normal. And most of them have no interest in understanding mental health issues at all. They are only interested in their pre-judgements.

But, again, that is not on you. That is on them. It’s a bummer that we cannot count on all our friends as we go through trials. Just try to remember that feeling so when you encounter a friend who is suffering, you can be there for them the way others weren’t for you. This is the only way we can begin to affect change for those who are suffering.

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