Positivity

Subtitled: Keep it to yourself.

We have always lived in a culture that adores positivity. Despite what religious folk would like us to think, religion itself is built on this idea. “Don’t worry so much about this life, think about the heaven that is to come.” Religion 101.

But positivity is bullshit. I say that, and I’m a positive person. I’m a glass half-full, someday things will be better, person. But positivity is worthless bullshit. I mean, really, you can’t even make fertilizer out of it.

Positivity and hard work, that’s what we’re led to believe will change things. But when you take a step back and look at it again, you realize that this belief is just an excuse not to deal with serious shit.

Like the “thoughts and prayers” currently being offered to the families and victims of the shooting in Thousand Oaks last night, positivity is a useless action that helps no one and changes nothing.

It doesn’t matter how positive you are, other people are still assholes, and that will make your life impossible at times. Trying to remain positive can be your choice, I have no problem with that. It’s when people push positivity on the suffering that it starts to grate.

Look, no amount of positivity is going to fix the fact that twice this week I went to the grocery store to discover NSF. The kids and I don’t spend that much money, but there are five of them and they need to eat and wear clothes and bathe and have clean clothing. I use a Target card for most of my purchases (5% off, people, why don’t you have one?), coupons and the store apps to save more. But it never changes that at least once a month I have to go, hat in hand, to beg for money.

That is, of course, what that sort of person wants: That level of control he had when we were married. That thing he tells his religious patsy friends that he’s changed. So he goes and prays to god, he shows the church that he’s some sort of great person, just like he always has. Yet he keeps his family dangling.

There is no amount of positivity to overcome that. And when it’s a regular thing, like it has been our entire marriage, that’s when it becomes a threat. There is no positive outcome here. He will get his need for authoritarianism met anyway he can, and this is just one of the many.

So, you can keep your positivity, and your religion to yourself, and those of us who have to put up with assholes will at least not have to put up with the overt knowledge that you don’t give a damn.

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