Hindsight’s a bitch. It’s all so obvious, but you know there is no way you could have truly known then.
Looking back, this end was obvious. I can see that I was already starting to have problems by the middle of summer school. But I had no way to process any of this, because the clinic I was at cut me loose, even though they knew I had no support.
Worse, though, they told me repeatedly before I left that I would be just fine. That was said over and over, including over my objections.
The more I learn about trauma and how trauma therapy should be accomplished, the more I realize that I was getting nowhere with them. But that doesn’t really make it easier because, I think the benefit was feeling as if I wasn’t completely alone. And just the idea that I thought I was working to improve myself and learn to function with the PTSD.
None of that matters anymore, though. Now I just have to pick up the pieces and go on.